This is just for fun. It was taken from Derek Halpern’s Social Triggers blog – an excellent one – as posted by Paul Chato of “Your Web Department”
Here is a transcription of an actual conversation I (Paul Chato) had recently (Tightened up a bit to not bore people):
(Client is in quotes)
“What do you mean I need content?”
You know, the stuff that describes what you do along with photographs that show what you do?
“How do we get that?”
Someone will have to write and shoot it.
“Will that cost money?”
Yes, it usually does, unless you do it yourself.
“I don’t know how to do it.”
Then you will have to get someone who does.
“Can’t you just build a website without it?”
“Make it look nice.”
How do we make it look nice if we don’t have content to make look nice.
“Can’t you take it from somewhere?”
Then it wouldn’t be your content.
“I’m not very confident that you people know what you’re doing. I just want a website.”
Do you visit websites?
“Sure, all the time.”
What do you think you’re reading and looking at?
Right, has content, copy to read and pictures to look at. It usually describes the business or service.
“Yeah, do that.”
Sure, we’ll get a writer and put a budget together.
“No, I don’t want a writer, just do it.”
The process of writing is a service.
“But you know what we do. I told you.”
Sure, so you go ahead and you just write what you do down, because you know your own business, and we’ll put it in the website for you.
“Just put in what I told you.”
That would be writing.
“No it’s not, I told you what to write.”
Yes, but we have to add nouns and verbs and other things to actually tease a few sentences out of what you said.
“Sure, do that.”
That would be writing.
“Look, you’re talking all the time. You’re talking to me right now. You’re not charging me to talk to me. Just write your talking down.”
Let’s just leave copy out of the discussion for one moment. What about pictures?
“I gave you pictures.”
They were taken by your cell phone. They look, dark and tiny… I’m sorry to say… amateurish.
“Then do that Photoshop thing.”
All Photoshop will do is let us make them barely recognizable.
“Yeah, do that.”
Unfortunately, it won’t increase the resolution to a useable size. Digital images have their limits.
“I see them do it all the time on CSI.”
If you’d like a corpse on your website I’m sure it can be arranged.
“That would turn people off, are you crazy?”
I’m getting there. Look, you’ve been in business for 27 years. Are you telling me that you’ve never taken any pictures of the products, process, or of your people interacting with clients?
“Never thought of that. That is a brilliant idea.”
“Please do it.”
Sure, I’ll get a quote from a professional photographer.
“Don’t you have a good camera on your phone?”
“Just use that.”
Even if I take the pictures with my phone that will take time and I will have to charge you for them.
“But they would only be phone pictures.”
I don’t see your point.
“You already have a camera on your phone, it’s free, see. Use that so it won’t cost you anything to take them.”
But what about my time, the shooting session, the travel there and back?
“Do it on a day when it’s on your way to another appointment.”
I see, just take a quick break, pop into your facility and take some impromptu snaps before I scoot off to my money-making appointment?
“Yes, that’s it. Great idea, eh?”
I’m sorry, I can’t do it. My time is valuable. I don’t think we can do your website. In fact you’ve made it impossible to do your website. Without content you have no website. All you’d have is a banner.
“Okay, I’ll take just the banner.”
Just a banner, no content?
Okay, we can design a simple banner for you in a few hours, times our hourly rate.
“No, I don’t want you to make a banner, just put one up.”
How do we put one up unless someone makes it?
“You know, you web people, make it really hard for us non-technical people to understand what you do.”
We do it on purpose.